Although some women worry that their boyfriends or husbands won't be into sex toys, most men are into pleasing their partners - which means that most men think vibrators and sex toys have a lot to offer in the bedroom. Here's how you can use sex toys for better sex with your partner:
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1. Let her take the lead. With so many sex toys on the market, it's impossible to know which one she'll like. She may not even know until she's had a chance to explore. In our research, we've found that most women prefer clitoral stimulation, but some enjoy vaginal stimulation with their sex toys, too. Spend an evening shopping on online sex toy sites such as couples-friendly Goasextoy.com. Ask her which ones she likes or is curious about and either make the purchase together or surprise her with an overnight delivery.
2. Use lube. Trust me - it can make so many parts of sex better. In one research study, we found that lubricant use was associated with more pleasurable masturbation and sex with a partner. Depending on the size of the toy, you'll be fine with anywhere from a dime-sized amount to a dollop about the size of a quarter. A water-based lubricant will work with just about any sex toy whereas a silicone-based lubricant shouldn't be used with silicone-based toys.
3. Make it a threesome. Some vibrators, especially small ones, are ideal for partner play as they can be used to stimulate a woman's clitoris during intercourse. You, your partner and a sex toy are a threesome that can't be beat (no awkwardness afterwards). Rear entry (doggie style) is ideal for vibrator play as there's plenty of room between her body and the bed if she's on all fours. She or you can hold a small vibrator, such as the silver bullet, to her clitoris in this position. Other vibrators, such as the We-Vibe, are designed for use during intercourse (yes, your penis and the We-Vibe can fit in there- especially with a little lube to assist).
4. Get in on the action. Assuming you are both STI-free, you can share the vibrations, with her applying some vibration to your penis or scrotum as part of foreplay, sex play or in positions such as reverse cowgirl. Vibrating condom rings are one way to experiment with vibrations. Disposable varieties can be found at drug stores such as CVS and Duane Reade. When you're ready to upgrade, check out the Lelo Homme Bo - a vibrating c-ring that some guys like so much that they even use it when they masturbate, in addition to using it during intercourse (essentially turning their penis into a vibrator for her, and your, pleasure).
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